Mind of a Hero
by Phoenix Noir
Summary: HIATUS. Enter the mind of our favorite hero. YAOI. Torn x Jak
1. Chapter One

I'm making subtle changes to this fic, so I hope it's better. It's slight AU, I suppose, right after the second game, but before the third. Though I don't remember much of the second game…So… Just bare with me. I have only this to say; Thank god for spell check.

Pairing: Jak and Torn, so it's yaoi. Don't flame me. I warned you.

Warnings: Yaoi(See above?) Some angst later on, blood, guts, gore…But that's all later. A lot of cursing, and some mild limes, maybe a lemon if I feel inspired. Slight AU. Oh, and It's first person.

Summary to the Fourth Chapter: His Darkness is becoming stronger since the rejection, and he finally admits his attraction to the older elf. Oddly enough, Torn is just as interested. But odd relics, and dark omens from Onin make him wary, and Dark seems to be even more powerful than he first thought, rearing his ugly head with bitter comments at just the wrong time. Migraines and screams plague our favorite hero, dropping his defenses completely… Will he run? Will he embrace his darkness and give into these chaotic urges?

-!-

"Mind of a Hero"

-!-

Well...Fuck. It's raining again, and when it rains in Haven City, it fucking pours. Through the streetlights, the rain is like a soft mist, evaporating before it hit the pavement, filling the air with an acrid scent. Freak thunderstorms in the middle of one of the hottest summers in Haven... Since I had been here, anyway. The sky splits with a spider web of yellow, a sharp crack echoing through the dark. The seeming mist begins to pelt down, the sound ringing out into the silent streets. A few guards were roaming about, complaining about the rain, but that seemed to be the only activity. From my perch, I can see the entire city. My vision is great; and I can hear fairly well. Not as well as Ashelin, though... Damn, that woman could hear me bleed if she really wanted to.

Hn... The wind picks up and blows a few strands of hair into my eyes... I've always hated my hair. But, of course, if I cut it, every damn woman I know'll beat me. What the hell is with chicks and hair! My hair, especially... I swear I'm going to cut it... ...Threading my fingers through the flaxen and tinged locks, I decide that it IS worth it. Stupid hair... With a small sigh, I let my eyes fall shut, lifting my face to the black sky and cleansing rain in abandon.

Before I realize it, I'm screaming. Loud, long, ragged and full of everything I had been holding back for so long. My hate, my love, my pain...My joy, my pride and that black cloud that always seems to be hanging over my head. He'll never leave me alone, and my memory jogs, because of him, of course and the painful memories of earlier that day come pouring back to me, tearing another loud cry from my already raw throat.

-_Memory-_

"I...I can't..." Aqua eyes were fever bright with fear, sweat beading on a smooth forehead, "I'm sorry, but I can't...I don't love you. I can't love you..." Keira gave a small sound as she ran from the room. Leaving...

-_End memory-_

...Leaving me pretty much fucking helpless. Tears burn at the back of my throat...I'll be dammed if I fucking cry over her! Why, though? Was I not good enough? All I wanted was to make her happy... Women are never happy. I have come to this conclusion, and I am sticking to it... Soon, I take notice of the guards grouping beneath my high perch...As well as the fine tremble that had began in my shoulders, slowly working down to my hands. I caught a few sentences from the fools below,

"What the hell was that! Metal heads shouldn't even be near here."

"How do you know it was a metal head?" Asked one of the younger ones.

"Because..." Replied the first who spoke. The two began to bicker quietly, like siblings. I laughed softly at the antics... Until a harsh, gravelly voice made the cadets jump and myself, shiver...And I don't think it was because of the rain.

"It wasn't a metal head, Get back to work! You're lucky I don't toss your sorry asses to the Wasteland." Snarled a soaking Torn from clenched fangs. Oh yea, that shiver had nothing to do with the rain. Yea, so I like Torn. His voice makes me...tingle. Don't get me wrong... I loved Keira. But I'm infatuated with Torn. Something about the prick is almost soft… Maybe I'm just delusional.

My eyes drift downward, to watch the shivering Commander stride away, growling lowly to cadets. I grin, and I must have made some sound, because he turned back to me, staring up at me, as if he could see me clear as day. Something like a smirk crossed his face… And I almost sighed, until it turned into an evil scowl.

Yea, I must be delusional. I had to be, since Torn was so good at acting. But he seemed content ruling over Ashelin's much smaller army of the Krimson Guard. Ever since the Barron perished at the hands of yours truly, things had been quieter, and for this I was glad.

I lifted my hand to my forehead in somewhat of a salute before he turned back and strutted away like the hot shit he thought he was. I allow my self a shit-eating grin as I slink back into the shadows of the towering building. Glancing down fifty feet or so, I leap outwards, my hands coming in contact with a water-slicked pole.

"Shit!" My fingers had slipped away from the bar before I could line myself with the next, and I flailed slightly as I fell the remaining forty feet… Into a pile of well placed trash.

I take back everything I said about rain. I really hate it. At least I didn't yelp. No, I just groan as I shove a bag away from my face, staring up at the sky in a sort of daze. It takes a moment for me to shake off the stun of falling as I stand, giving my head a slight shake, just to clear my thoughts. Glancing about to make sure no one was around to watch my 'graceful' fall, I dusted myself off, for all it was worth and began to creep down the quiet, barren streets of my home.

It took a long time for me to get to the hideout on foot, and it was a guarantee that no one would be awake at this early hour…Well, almost. There was the chance that Torn had come back early from his patrols…A chance; and a very small chance, at that. I hadn't really bothered to take a zoomer… So I wandered to the disguised door, soaking wet and a little cold. So much for a moonless walk. A tiny growl leaves my throat as I touch the stone wall, and it slides open without so much as a noise. Stepping into the warm, dry air, I hesitate, listening for any activity.

Running water?

It was rather faint… So it could have been in the next room over. Hell, I wasn't sure… I also wasn't sure I really cared. I just wanted to be dry, lie in bed, and ponder if Torn has tattoos anywhere else but his face…

Yea, I'm male; Sue me.

A grin passes over my face as I slip my beloved goggles over my head, tossing them to my bunk. Next comes the armor I was given by and old friend, then my gun holster. I drape my equipment and my shirt over the railing, hoping it would be dry by morning. Taking my rarely used sheet, I run it over my arms and chest, ridding myself of the water droplets that clung greedily to my tanned flesh. Next comes the boots, my belts, my ankle guards and, finally…My pants.

Mmm… Naked and warm. It couldn't get any better. I wrap my sheet around my waist, letting it trail around behind me like a train as I travel towards the bathroom door, ready for a much-needed shower.

The sounds of running water cease, as my hand rests on the door handle. It turns beneath my fingers, pulling out of my grasp. A thread of light shines across my eyes and down my body, steam rolling out around toned legs.

It took me all my willpower not to jump him.

Torn lifted a brow in question as he gave me the once over…A few times, "Coming to join me, Jak?"

Hey wow, amusement. I roll my eyes and give a chuckle, setting one hand on my slim waist, "Oh, don't flatter yourself. I'm just as wet as you are. And I bet _you_ didn't fall in a pile of wet, rotting garbage." I scowled gently… But my eyes just had to wander. Dark, powder blue patterns, similar to the ones on his face, curled and crossed over the gruff elf's chest, over his hips and back further, and lower… Unfortunately, I didn't get to see anymore, because of the towel he clutched around his waist loosely.

Damn clothe…

Lazily my eyes wander upward, to meet Torn's face again. He looked slightly bemused, but he didn't make a comment as to my reason for the shower. Instead, he stepped to one side, making an arrogant sweeping gesture with his hands, " Well, it's all yours Jak. Nice sheet."

I snorted and slide past him, careful not to brush his skin…Purposely, that is. As I slip into the humid, tilled room, what I can only assume to be Torn's hand lightly brushed the back of my thigh through the material of my sheet.

I freeze for a moment as his hand graces the small my back, in an almost caress. I stumble softly, knowing my face is a bright burning mass of blood, so I don't turn around when I hear the delightful snicker, and the door shut.

What the fuck!

I risk a glance behind me, eyeing the closed door suspiciously. Maybe I'm imagining things? My hand looses the grip of the sheet and it falls to the floor my…Little elf at attention. I had to fight the urge to whimper as I made my way slowly to the showers; so I sighed.

Torn is such a bastard. And so is my damn libido! I turned on the water, as cold as it would go and stepped under the frigid spray. My breath came out in a shivering gasp as I lift my left arm to brace myself against the wall, his forehead pressing to the cool, cream colored tile.

Damn… First I was cold and miserable. Now I'm cold and horny! Ooh, I swear that elf'll get what's coming to him. A soft growl leaves my lips as the erection ever so slowly, went away.

I really didn't even want to get clean anymore. I just wanted to go top sleep…And maybe bitch slap Torn. Yea, slapping him sounded really nice. I turned off the water and gave myself a shake, tossing my hair back, feeling it floof once more. Yea, another thing about my hair; It stays like that. I don't brush it, I don't style it. Ever since I was a kid, the shit has stood straight up. Yea, it fell when it grew out, but that doesn't mean that stupid little curl is on purpose. Not that I really mind it, though. But it's just something that irks me.

Drying myself off, I wrapped a towel around my waist, and peeked out the door.

A sigh of relief as I realize that Torn was not there anymore, and he wouldn't attack me. I slunk towards my bunk and pulled a pair of night pants from my trunk at the foot of the bed. I pulled them on and I don't remember anything after my head hit the pillow.

Mmm…Pillows.

-!-

Read and Review!

-!Phoenix!-


	2. Chapter Two

Mind of a Hero Part Two

-!-

Mmmm… Warm. I was very warm. Damn near toasty! I wasn't aware of much, but that I was on my back and wrapped in a little ball. A weight was on my chest, but I was too caught between my dream and reality that I didn't really care.

Torn.

That sly little bastard! He had felt me up…And hadn't even left a tip. Not that I had really expected one from him, since it seemed to be my own little mind that I brewed these crazy thoughts in. Finally, I pull away from the sweat soaked bodies and pretty words…

To see Daxter, only inches from my face.

"Holy shit!" My eyes widen, and the ottsle better have been glad that my hands were pinned at my sides. My furred companion leapt back to my legs and glared at me, his tail curling around his feet,

"Well excuse ME for waking you up, Prince charming!" The sarcasm was pretty thick.

You could have put it on toast… Mmm, toast. The thought reminded me that food was a wonderful invention at… I glance at the clock to realize I had overslept….

Again.

I roll my eyes gently at the orange furball's pouting and begin to unwind from the blankets, stretching my arms out to my sides. I smack my lips together slightly and swing my legs over the side of the bed, ignoring Daxter's cries of protest.

"Sorry, Dax. Just don't get so close to my face." I mumble in response to his earlier outburst. Slowly, I make my way across the room, pausing to glance at Torn's table. No new briefings, but it seemed that Torn had been here earlier. I gave an involuntary shudder at the possible thought that the elder elf might have been watching me…

'I doubt it…' A solemn thought that did me no good, what with that bothersome darker half and all.

'**Bothersome! Without me, you'd be in a body-bag, boy!'**

A gruesome thought, for sure. 'No offense, Dark. I was more expecting a crack on Torn…'

My Darker half only chuckled, '**Thanks for reminding me. I doubt it would ever work. You just don't have enough control.'** He taunted acidly, those dark eyes just behind mine. I could see them, but just barely. A snarl found it's way from my lips, my fists clenching in the fallen blanket,

'Oh, fuck you, Dark.' And with that I fought my way past the barriers and shut him out; for now at least. But he was right… I just didn't have control enough to ever… Be close to someone again. The incident with Keira had almost broken me, but I would heal. I always healed. She was just some girl. A girl I grew up with. My sister, basically…So I was fine with it, or I would be, after a while.

But Torn… I wanted Torn the moment I saw him; and it had nothing to do with brotherly love.

Daxter tugged the blanket, breaking me from my musings as he scampered up to my shoulder, "Hey buddy, you were in deep thought, there. Don't blow a fuse!" He laughed lightly and smacked the back of my head. A roll of my eyes, and my hand on my head, I proceed to shrug the creature off, shooing him away. The furball seemed to take this the wrong way. Hell, he knew I wasn't a morning person.

"Fine!" He said in exasperation, "I'll be at the Naughty Ottsle with Tess-baby if ya need me."

"Have fun, Dax. Make sure you can stumble home in one piece." I knew he couldn't hold his liquor… _He_ knew he couldn't hold his liquor. Though he was small, he still drank…a lot. He casually flipped me the bird, and strutted, as much as an ottsle could, out of the hideout, muttering under his breath about annoying sidekicks.

I laugh lightly and kick the blanket away from my feet, beginning to move around the kitchen area to make myself something to eat!

It discouraged me to find that there really wasn't…Anything.

So I made toast; eight pieces of toast, to be exact. I was in the middle of buttering the fourth slice when a familiar voice sounded behind me,

"Well isn't this a picture of domestic bliss. Make enough for me, dear?" That oh so sexy rasp, mixed that monotonous made me fight off a blush as I glance to Torn from the corner of my eye, making sure to look mean…Or as mean as I get when I first wake up,

"No, I didn't. Make you own god damn food, and don't call me dear!" I growl softly, now buttering my seventh piece of toast. Damn it, I hadn't even heard him come in! I hate it when people sneak up on me…

The Ex-KG commander laughed lightly as he walked casually up behind me. I could feel him, inches away. His hand came to rest on my shoulder, his chin setting to my left. He looked up at me, my face slipping from cold to embarrassed.

He smelled good… Like some hard spice, but it had an undercurrent of sweetness to it. I turned my face to him and met his icy eyes with my own slightly blood shot ones.

Hey, I hadn't had coffee yet.

His chuckle sent shivers up my spine as he gave a little grin, "So, how are you Jak? Sleep well?" His fingers tracing over my bare shoulder didn't help my already slow thought process.

"I guess… Woke up to Dax…Feels like I haven't slept at all." I answered honestly, blinking once, trying to fight the blood from rushing to my face…And other places.

"I imagine the rat would be a bad sight to wake up to… And you were rolling around when I came in last night, all the way 'til I left. Not sure if you stopped or not." He said softly, turning his face, putting his breath closer to my neck and cheek.

I swallow softly and give a little laugh, ignoring the fact that he really _was_ watching me sleep, "Yea, he is. So how did you sleep, Oh mighty Captain?" I let the sarcasm roll from my tongue as I turn my eyes to him.

"I haven't…" Was his casual reply as his head turned a fraction, pressing his lips to my neck. An involuntary sigh makes its way from my mouth as he nuzzled into my neck lightly, a wicked smirk on his lips; "I need something to put my head on." His arms curled from my shoulders, to my chest, his fingers pressing to the left of my right nipple, slowly sliding down to my stomach, "And you're nice and soft…" He lifted his head and nibbled my ear, making my knees weak…

And I found that nibbling my ear makes me completely helpless when being dragged to bed by a scrumptious tattooed elf man.

So, in short, I was drug back to my bunk. Torn backed me against the bed, giving me a look that made me sit, like a good obedient puppy.

That's right, a puppy. This man made me into Jell-O! And I hated Jell-O…

Nimble, sly fingers flitted across my naked chest, making my own body respond. My hands slid up his back and over his shoulders, pulling him downward as my fingers playing along his neck and ears. I was pleased when he began to purr at me. As I threaded my fingers through his ruby dreads, he nibbled my collarbone, making me fall to my back. He attacked my chest with little kisses and bites, licking across my taunt stomach.

I writhed gently, breathing heavily as he made his way back up my chest, licking at the hollow in my throat. I gave a little moan, gripping his hair tighter, in turn making him hiss softly. But I think he liked it, since he bit me again. Hey, I wasn't going to complain.

By this time, all the blood in my body had pooled between my legs…. And it fucking _hurt_ with no attention to it.

I rolled my hips gently, and Torn shifted his right back, making me cry out softly. Just the lightest touches sent me spiraling. He chuckled darkly and nuzzled against my throat, cuddling his body against mine, eyes half lidded, tongue darting out to wet his swollen lips.

Then he did what any self-respecting man would do…

…

He fell asleep. He fucking fell asleep!

He fell forward, my marked chest a pillow for his head, and I really couldn't blame him… He had said he hadn't slept yet, and obviously, I was soft and warm. Good information to know about myself, I guess. Not sure how I could fit that onto a resume, though…

My arm curls around his back as I pull the covers over us with my other hand. Cuddling down into the blankets, I let my eyes close, and m mind wander. I don't know why, but I got these… images of carnage, and dark…hideous, black eyes. I knew it was Dark. Why wouldn't it be? Happy, and content… And he had to rear his ugly head. I hated his bluffs.

'**Who says I'm bluffing…?**'

I gave a yawn and nuzzled Torn's braids softly,

'I do.' And then it was darkness. I didn't see anything else, but I was a pretty heavy sleeper.

And I know Torn was, too, because he didn't hear Ashelin's chuckle and her cute comment. I did, unfortunately, and I had to hide my blush in my pillow. Back to sleep, for me.

-!-

The ending is revised, and the next few chapters will be revised as well.

-!Phoenix!-


	3. Chapter Three

Again, chapter revised slightly.

-!-

"Mind of a Hero" Part Three.

-!-

Like I had said before, if he didn't wake up to Ashelin's amused chuckle, he sure as hell wasn't going to wake up at my gentle nudges. And…Like I said, he was a heavy sleeper. Luckily, I had gotten a nice rest, and I was feeling refreshed. For the first time in months, I didn't feel a stir of Dark… I thanked the precursors for this. I was energetic…Save for one small problem.

My arm was tapped beneath Torn's body and very numb. I wondered, idly, what color it had turned.

"Torn…Toooooorn." I felt a frown creeping it's way onto my face as I sat up as much as I could, resting my hand on his shoulder, shaking him, "Torn?"

I got snores in reply. I really couldn't wake him up easily…And I had no problem being violent. Wriggling closer to the sleeping commander, my lips touched his ear. I smiled at him, then, watching the lift of lips as I lightly rolled his head over. He gave a small sound and rolled over on his side, his back to me…Freeing my arm! I was pleased.

With a cry on triumph, I cradled my arm to my chest, willing the blood to flow again. It had turned white, only a few shades lighter my original skin tone…. I was hoping for purple.

Glancing at the sleeping man made me smile, just slightly. My memory raced back too earlier in the…morning? Maybe it was the afternoon… Whatever time it was, I let my mind reel further back , to the previous days events. It made me frown again, but I pushed this away, thinking it wasn't good to be thinking about her when I had this sexy elf in my bed. I shrug this off as I crawled towards Torn once more, with the intent of waking him. He should have at least known that Ashe saw him all cozy like he was. I allowed myself a light, childish laugh, thankful that I could forget things so easily as my working hand lifted to the Tattooed mans side; my lips nestled into his neck. My fingers tightened and I bit down, just lightly, on his neck.

Of course I got attacked. I should have been expecting it.

Pretty eyes burst open, and before I could blink, he had grabbed my upper arm, using my unbalanced position and his strength and leverage to roll me over his side. In one hand, my wrists were pinned, painfully, above my head, his other hand at my throat, squeezing. He was going to crush my fucking windpipe! The situation would have been kinky; he was so dominant… But I saw his eyes, and it ruined any playful image I had.

Fuck! God dammit! He was so thorough, and behind those icy eyes… No one was home.

But it was quick, vicious, and so very quiet. It made my pulse speed up, beating around my chest like a caged thing. See? No time for dirty thoughts. Hell, I would be lucky to just have a bruise. I knew he could have broken my neck without making so much as a sound. I knew this, and I cursed myself for letting my guard down. I felt my own face close down, giving him that cold, and indifferent mask. I didn't need a mirror to know that our eyes had that same dead look to him. With my face, I tried to tell him that I wasn't a threat, that I wasn't hostile.

But it didn't work. It never works does it? I must've looked threatening, because his grip tightened, his face coming closer to mine. My favorite smirk crossed his lips as he pressed his nose to the side of mine, the hand on my wrists loosening slightly.

I sighed softly, letting my eyes fill up with relief to wash away the killer that had filled me up. At the sigh, his fingers eased slightly, though he still touched me gently, fingers caressing the sore flesh. But he didn't look sorry.

"Ashelin saw…" I said slowly, my eyes flicking down to the hand at my neck. I wanted him to let me go now. But, of course, he didn't let go. He kissed the corner of my mouth and sat back across my stomach, giving a great yawn as he popped a few kinks from his back and neck. Almost reluctantly, he let my neck go…And I wondered what the hell that was all about.

"She knew. It's my father you have to worry about. Ashelin liked my father, and my father liked her. So if she's feeling particularly surly, she'll tell him. Besides, she thinks it's cute." He growled out, his head canted to one side, an almost knowing smile on his face.

'**I hate that smile…**' Snarled Dark solemnly, **'No one touches my host…**'

I almost panicked, sending a warning shot to Dark, telling him to go away. And I thought I wouldn't have to deal with him today… Damn, had I thought wrong I'm always thinking wrong. The Dark Eco that had nested in my soul pushed further, wanting me to break, but I refused. I growled loudly, my brows pinched with concentration, an almost sweat glossing my forehead as I fought him.

'Fuck off.' Was the parting line as I watched him fall away from my mind's eye… That was too easy.

I think I frightened Torn, because his hand returned to me neck, just touching this time, feather light brushed across the red skin. His eyes worried and his lips curled into a frown; the lines between his eyes were only more defined, due to the lack of his brows.

"Was it something I said?" He questioned with discontent, once more pulling his away sharply from my neck as he crossed his arms over his chest, once more pulling his away sharply from my neck. I laughed lightly and rolled my upper body to one side, and curled closer to him.

"I don't even know what you said after I told you Ashe came in like a bloody fangirl. Dark is being intolerable." I said as simply as I could.

Torn nodded as he slid from my stomach, sitting instead, in the curve I had made, his elbow resting on my hip, "That's alright… But don't fucking wake me up like that!" Ah-ha! There was the Torn I knew and…. Well, here was the Torn I knew!

I gave a cheeky smile and lightly patted his thigh, "I apologize. Should I put ice down your pants, then? Put your fingers in warm water? Ooh, what about an air horn!"

Torn shook his head, smiling lightly and casually smacked me on the ass, tearing a small shout from my startled lips. I turned wide eyes to him, "You touched my ass, you brute."

That subtle smile turned into a full toothed grin, his tiny canines glinting as he pounced on me. Well, he really didn't pounce as much as he fell on me, pinning my arms and me beneath his chest. "You could always grab my toe."

I lifted my brow, "Your toe?"

A nod, "It's woken me up since I was a kid. If you think I sleep hard, you should have seen me at seventeen." His eyes traveled down my chest slowly, before returning to my face with a wink.

I blushed…Again… Of course! But that was only because he winked at me… Highly un-Torn-ish

"Interesting… Um… I have to go to the Naughty Ottsle." I said while batting my big blue eyes.

It was Torn's turn to quirk his brow as he slid away from me once more, "My, that was abrupt…"

What was I supposed to do? Let him molest me for a second time, only to fall asleep again! I don't think my libido could take it. The little guy was already pretty pissed. So I had tried to seduce Torn…Right, if blinking could seduce, I would be all loved up. And… of course, it hadn't worked. Obviously.

But I wasn't lying when I said I had to go to the Naughty Ottsle. I knew Torn hated that place, almost as much as he hated Daxter…

But I was not going to let the Growling Man stop me from…. Being annoyed by Dax? I carefully weighed my options.

"Daxter wanted me to stop by when I woke up."

So it wasn't the total truth…. But it was close enough? Why the hell I was avoiding hot, sweaty sex was beyond me.

I wasn't sure. I _did_ want it, but I knew I couldn't. Hell, I didn't know really know anything but my role of hero and friend. I had never been a lover, and the emotions confused me to no end. I was young. Young with a wizened mind. I had seen so much, in such a short span of time. Saved the world…two times? I had killed, and become a monster, the moment I was freed from the chains. I had injured the girl I had loved. I had made her fear me.

I did not want this man to fear me. I did not want to look into his eyes and see terror. Though… I didn't think Torn scared that easily.

Right now he looked confused. And it was cute. His hand lifted to brush across my face ever so softly, and I didn't know the fingertips of a warrior could be so soft. I leaned into that touch for just a moment, purring almost soundlessly.

I looked up to him, and smiled lightly before I pulled my face away from the wonderful contact, nipping his fingers in the process, "Would you like to come with me?"

'**No, he would not…**'

"… I suppose. I don't have anything else do to." He gave that little smirk that meant everything…And nothing; all at the same god damn time.

I knew Dark was pissed, I could feel it. Like an invisible hand that was wrapping tighter around me. It was like I was suffocating on my own aura. It was a bad feeling. And Dark's anger was so much worse.

But it seemed to be unfelt by anyone but me. I felt those claws dig into my metaphysical flesh, those teeth tear through my walls…

Then it was gone. Torn's hand slid around mine, pulling me from the bed. His hand paused on my forehead for a moment; "You look pale. Go get dressed… And _don't_ throw up on anything. Or you're cleaning it."

I gave a smile as his cool hand left my forehead to settle on my shoulder. He gave me a little push towards the bathroom, throwing a ball of clothes and gear at the back of my head. I grumbled lightly as I closed the door, a growl trickling from Dark's 'mouth'.

'**You will die.'**

'Says you, Eco trash, says fucking you.'

A loud bray of laughter, a cackle that sent shivers up my spine, **'You are the Eco _trash_, boy. And don't forget it. I was powerful before you came along. I am not the trash, I am the product!' **He roared through my head.

' 'Product' my ass. You are half of something great.' I murmured back, not in the mood to growl at the power-tripping gremlin.

'**I am no gremlin…'** He had gone very quiet, very still. He slowly fell away, and my mind was clearer. Dark had never let me go so easily… I made me wary.

-!-

Sooner than later, I ran my fingers through my hair, making sure it lay right beneath my goggles, and tugged a few pieces of stray clothing under the leather straps of my holster. I wrapped my scarf securely around my neck, with a little more in the front to keep the sand and wind out of my nose.

Not that there was any sand in Haven City, but it never hurt to be safe. I gave my reflection a tired smile, and a dry chuckle, "I'm very glad I stopped talking to you when I was a kid."

Then I turned, and wandered out the bathroom door, humming an idle tune to myself as I approached the tattooed commander that seemed to be pinning over a map. I came up behind him, as silent as I could manage, and placed my left hand in the center of his back, and I won the ever so sexy growl I was looking for!

"Don't touch me."

Gee, he was…touchy. "You didn't mind before." I purred lightly in his ear, setting my chin on his slim shoulder, increasing his growl.

"So?" He snapped, turning those cerulean eyes to me like daggers. I blinked and frowned slightly. What was eating him? I would find out later, I guessed…So I pinched the back of his neck.

"You're pissy, Torn. I'll see you in a bit, I need to see Onin today."

The older elf glared harder, "I am not pissy…" And then he turned, staring at me full on and I wasted no time at all getting the hell out of dodge.

I think he threw something at me. And I was right. I later realized he had thrown two pens and a piece of…

Glass? Where did he get broken glass?

Never the less, it had cut the lobe of my ear, and I made it a mission to make Torn kiss it better.

Or lick it, either one would work. But I wasn't really sure I wanted to go back to the fuming elf. I wondered, what happened…? One moment, he was fine… Then he was all… Pissy. I wondered if I noticed his mood swings more, now that I got to wake up next to him. I guessed… Though I wasn't really positive. I rolled my eyes, hearing a loud curse from inside the hideout just as I emerged from the hidden door.

That man had such a temper… Now…Where was I going?

-!-

And I'm done for now… o.- I love having my chapters leave off anywhere I damn well please. XD

Ookami: Sadist.

Lazy is the correct term. Did you all enjoy it?

Ookami: They damn well better have. I had to sit in your head and help you write it.

Blah, blah, I'm the one holding the pen/keyboard. Review my pretties and I shall give you candies!

Ookami: How about truth serum so they don't have to lie?

… Good night, readers. -Stalks off to kill his muse-

!-Phoenix-!


	4. Chapter Four

'Mind of a Hero'

-!-

Oh yea, I was going to see Onin… That's right.

Then I would find Torn, see what was wrong with mister Grumpy and then go seek out the orange rat. Don't get me wrong, I love Daxter. Torn was just…. Rubbing off on me. And rubbing on me, whichever. He never changed his ways, but damn, he could get you to. He was very persuasive in that 'I'm going to tear your windpipe out' sort of way. Since he had tried to tear my own windpipe out earlier that morning, I wasn't ever going to wake him up, that close again. With my luck, he'd have a gun next tie. It was unnerving and a little scary. But I was used to it by now.

I took the winding, turning and decimated ally ways of Haven City. Hell, you couldn't really even call them streets anymore. My mind wandered like it always will when you're walking and your feet just take you. A thought flew into my head, and I wondered why I had this attraction to the older elf. He was beautiful, graceful and very tempting. But so were most large feline predators and I never wanted to sleep with one… And I didn't think I swung that way. I wasn't sure why I was thinking about it… I wasn't worried. More excited, I guess. Maybe I liked boys and just never knew it. I loved Keira… but I never saw myself doing…anything with her. I just wanted to be near her. It hurt to stay away, but I haven't really thought about it much, since the Torn incident yesterday. I would rather have her safe, anyway, then ripped apart by Dark. Torn, at least, could defend himself. A sharp cackle shot through my head, making my temple throb like an ancient war drum. A hiss slipped from my teeth and I growled.

Dark probably had something to do with this. He **always** has something to do with anything that happened to me. Like the events of the past few days… I knew he was getting stronger. It made my bones ache, this deep seeded feeling that had nothing to do with the Eco in my blood, but the alter ego that came with it. Pushing and tearing through my very soul. I felt lost, unneeded, unwanted, unloved. I knew it was him; It had to be. But he was quiet now, with not even a word, just that sharp pain and I was thankful for that. I broke my musings with a deep breath, glancing upwards slightly.

You know it's always quiet when you're submerged in your thoughts, but as soon as you snap out of it, it's noisy as fuck. I let out a growl at a woman's scream a little to my left, but I wasn't in the mood for hero shit. I was just neutral… Today at least.

Some day's… All I want to do is crash zoomers and shoot people. Pretty unhealthy, wouldn't you say? I don't. It's all in how you view things, I guess… I never had any problem with destruction. Part of that was Dark, but even before, I was always fascinated by watching things go boom.

I kicked a few rocks, my thumbs hooked into my pockets causally. Mustn't look suspicious. I lifted my head for only a moment to watch a large rock fly down the ally way, nodding triumphantly as it hit the trashcan I was inadvertently aiming for. But as soon as it hit, my eyes shifted back to my feet. A glint of silver in the sun caught my attention behind me a step and to the left. Money? No one ever lost money here… Of course, it couldn't have been money… It was silver; we had gold. It wasn't real gold, but it let the people think back to times when the City was rich and prosperous enough to afford real gold to buy everything with. I picked it up because I can't help but touch shiny things and rolled the coin over in my hands, rubbing away the caked the dirt with my thumb. It looked old. Older than anything I had ever seen; maybe even older than the armor I had.

It was a disheveled looking old man, perched upon a throne, a staff to his left, a falcon perched on the top right. Though I couldn't really make out much more than that. Later, I would clean it, and put it in the box of things I don't touch anymore. I flipped the coin over and my eyes grew a little wide, my brow quirking. A metal head with its jaws stretched wide, roaring from the coin. Almost as if it would jump out and devour me. Whoever had made the coin had been very loving in every detail, down to the spittle that could be seen running down those needle-like fangs. I gave an involuntarily shudder as I glanced around, my feet moving again. Maybe I would make it into a pendant? That didn't seem likely. It was a spiffy coin, but old people and metal heads bothered me.

Old people scared me more. I mean… I could shoot a metal head.

Onin and Samos were the only two old people I had even considered liking. Though Onin spooked me just a little, she was still a nice old lady. Warning me of my impending doom and all…

What a nice lady; the same nice lady that was sitting before my eyes. I hadn't known I had come this far, but I guess I had. So much for thinking… I offered a small smile to her beaming one. She always knew who had entered and just what was going on. Sometimes I wondered if it was natural talent and bad luck that she was blind…Or if The Precursors took her sight and voice to give back more than her eyes. Hm…Whatever. Her usual symbols with that eerie light flew through the air in what I knew was hello. See I had been here enough. Pecker was snoozing on Onin's large hat, so I threw a rock at him. Onin laughed silently as Pecker gave a squawk and tumbled from the hat in an ungraceful heap. Then again… the bird monkey wasn't really graceful.

"HEY! What was that for!"

I just shrugged, "You were sleeping." A simple answer for a simple bird…thing. I ignored the rest of Pecker's cries out outrage and revenge as I moved further into the hut, kneeling before Onin, my hands on my thighs. Onin was patient, waiting for her translator to stop his complaints. This took longer than expected, and my fingers curled a little tighter around the coin that I held within my hand.

"Hurry up, Pecker!" I said impatiently, sighing just to prove my point. Pecker glared sullenly at me as he flapped his way back to Onin's hat, clearing his throat slightly as her hands spun symbols quickly, almost franticly.

"Onin says something dark hangs over your head. Onin also says that your feelings must be resolved before you can move forward...I hope you know what that means, because I don't."

"I have... A good idea of what she means." Onin didn't even have to see his face... She just knew. Whether it was his aura, or something else...Maybe Pecker was spying on him. It was unlikely, but it was still funny.

"Onin says you think to much, about things that do not concern you. Onin sense something deep inside your soul, that desperately wants free. I think she already said that, but that is okay. Onin often repeats herself. Onin also says that you should see him before you run."

I blinked. This confused me, "Run? I'm not going to run anywhere…Where do I have to go?" I gave Onin a long, considering look, and she just smiled, spouting more mystic signs from between her hands, nodding to the coin within my palm. I gripped it harder, and I felt my brows creasing, confusion evident on my face,

"Onin says that the time will come, and you will not be strong enough to face it. Onin would like you to tell her about the coin you found before you came here."

I dropped my gaze, lifting the coin between two fingers, my thumb idly rubbing over the raised images, "Well…it's silver... and on one face…It has a wizened old man in a throne. There's a falcon perched on the back, and he's gripping something in his hand… And he has a staff." I hadn't noticed the item in the coin-man's hand until now. Come to think of it, I couldn't really tell any other features.

"Onin says that is a symbol for strength. You will be a ruler one-day. It is only fate that you found this when you did. The falcon means you are wise, and you will always have a guardian to watch over you in your times of trouble. Onin would like to know what is on the other side of the coin." Pecker gave a sigh of annoyance as a few more symbols fell from the Seer's fingertips, but Pecker ignored that,

"What did she say?"

"Nothing important. Something about a painful past and a broken heart. But anyway, I don't have all day! Tell me what the coin says!"

I glared at the bird monkey, snorting softly as I flipped the coin in my hand, licking my thumb to rub away a little more dirt, "It's a metal head. Well, I think it's a metal head. Its jaws are stretched very wide, and there's spittle running from its fangs…It looks really pissed." I glanced harder at the coin, the pads of my fingers touching along something that was inscribed along the bottom, "It says something… But I can't read it. Hell, I don't even recognize the language."

There was a silence then, and a pained expression settled onto Onin's face, one hand coming to her heart, gripping it as she turned her head away for a moment. I was worried, "Onin? What's--" But she silenced me with an idle flick of her wrist. Slower now, she 'spoke' to me, and Pecker's voice was hesitant… It was an amazing change. He felt sorry…and sad. What the hell was going on?

"Onin…Onin says that there are to sides to every coin. It has devoured your protector and taken your throne from you. Onin says that this means you will be overcome. The darkness will slaughter what you care for, unless you stay strong. It will kill you, Jak."

I swallowed…My mouth hanging agape. The first thoughts that came to me were of all the friends I had made. Everything I cared for…She couldn't be serious, could she? It was just a stupid coin, and surely a coin couldn't steal my friends. "What about the words?" I asked softly, If it was possible to look anymore confused, I might have.

"Onin says it might be ancient precursor language. She also says that you must find someone who can translate for you."

"Who the hell can translate ancient precursor text!"

"Onin says look to the desert for answers. You will find what you are looking for in the desert."

I nodded only once before I stood as if pulled by strings, gripping the coin so tightly in my palm, "Why should I even head the warnings of this stupid thing?"

"Onin says it is your destiny, Jak. I am sorry…"

"But I…I can't do this. I can't run away from my problems here, to only make more further away." I let my eyes slid to the floor, sighing in defeat. When I think I'm happy, my world crumbles. And I seem to be the only one who can save the god damn world. Ironic, isn't it? But…In reality, I'm not saving the world, am I? I'm saving myself from my own destruction. The dark force that hung above my head…It had to be Dark. I bowed gently to Onin, still frowning, "Thank you, Onin… I'll go now…I'll come back tomorrow after I've thought this over a little." Onin smiled at me, and I turned to walk out, firing a comment to Dark, pausing in the doorway for the verbal battle I knew was coming. Hell, the tension had been mounting, and I was damn sick of it.

'Planning to over throw me?' I asked my alter ego bitterly, letting the hate slid to him like ice.

'**Perhaps. Maybe I just want your kingdom, and all its riches.**'

'What fucking kingdom, what riches! There is no kingdom! There is no nothing. I'm a damn assassin to the townsfolk, and I'm a renegade and a freak to everyone else. What could I rule?'

A cynical laugh fell from invisible lips, and a lump of fear began to grow in my gut, '**Oh…My sweet Jak…You have _soo_ much I could rule over…Your Keira. Your Daxter…Your… Precious Torn…** **Riches come in more forms than gold and silver. Maybe I want your heart to crumble…maybe I want to have complete control over you. You have so much potential, Jak. Why don't you use it?**'

'You just want to kill.' I said pointedly, trying not to let the fear creep into my inner voice. But Dark always knew.

'**Too right you are, Jaky. Don't you have a past to run away from? A coin to solve? Maybe you have a boyfriend to fuck before you run away. He'll hate you, you know.**'

'You mother—' Pain shot through my head, and I couldn't help but scream. Dark didn't care that I was about to insult him…but this time the pain, the migraine was different from all the others. It consumed me. Fire was in my veins, and I couldn't seem to stop it at all. I felt him crushing me under his thumb like I was just an insect, and all he did was laugh. Distantly, I heard Pecker's frantic cries, and the footsteps of the Krimson guard. More fire, more hate, more anger billowed from my mind and I heard laughter, more antagonizing laughter at every scream that fell from my throat. Long, ragged cries of despair. I was dying. I was drowning… Faintly, I felt a rifle shove into my back, and electricity from the tasers burst over my skin, but it was like I was feeling and seeing in third person. One terrible cry after another as my throat choked me, my mouth going dry… He had never been able to do this before…before she left me… Purple and black spots danced over my vision, as I fell forward onto my knees, still gripping my head, my teeth gnashed violently. I heard a call for backup, but I never got to see that backup. In the back of my mind… I thought I died. I thought I died and if I could have spoken, it would have been his name on my lips before darkness overpowered me. The one I never got around to telling. He really would hate me.

-!-

Well…This was angsty.

Ookami: I liked it.

Oh, shut up. –grins- I WAS going to continue, but I figured that was a good place to end. This chapter confused me, and seemed to write it's self, so sorry that it drew away from the humor I was originally going for. If you have any questions, just ask and I'll answer them as best I can. I really hope I can get the next chapter up soon, though… Oh, and Jak fainted, basically. Obviously, Dark took over. So, will he be able to see Torn again? Will he really fall into darkness? And what of that spiffy little coin—Can a coin really tell your destiny?

Ookami: You're only asking them because you don't know.

-glares- Review for me, and I'll give you cookies and cake!

-!-

-!Phoenix!-


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